"So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her" Genesis 29:20
I wonder if the next seven years that Jacob worked for Laban passed as quickly. I mean, Laban had already deceived Jacob once. Surely Jacob would have doubted Laban's faithfulness to their agreement. Jacob obviously really wanted to be married to Rachel, and he ended up having to wait a total of 14 years to get what he wanted. I can't even imagine that!
Looking back seven years ago, I remember myself preparing to start college in the Fall. I was looking forward to getting away from Akron and going to BG so much that I'd had all my stuff packed since June. The last seven years, I have truly transformed into a completely different person. I still have a lot of the same struggles I had then and my closest friends from that first year are still very close friends of mine. The only friend I saw the summer after freshman year is now my very best friend, and the first woman I really let myself be vulnerable with I still get to hang out with every so often after church!
Even with so much still being the same, I have been completely transformed! Seven years ago, I thought my heart was for God and I desired to pursue His will, but really I had no clue how to even pursue Him about what His will might be. I had no idea how prone I was to pursuing my own will rather than His, even when I knew they were in complete opposition. I had never imagined that I had the capacity to hurt people with my words. Seven years ago, my closest friends were not very close at all.
Trusting God has definitely been the largest area of growth in the last seven years, and I still definitely struggle with it. The first couple years I spent learning just who God is: His love for me, the depth of His grace, how He desires a deep relationship with me. After that, I started facing huge trials where I would have to choose repeatedly to pursue God, to trust His will even if it meant I never got what I thought I wanted, and to live to please Him. Junior year, a very significant gash was put in my relationship with God and I spent the following three years keeping Him at arms length so that He wouldn't hurt me again. I was still listening to His will for my life but only by His grace continued walking in it, though very begrudgingly at times. The last two years have found me with the most active relationship with God I could have ever imagined! Granted, a lot of it's been me struggling in the same two specific areas of my life, but I have known the entire time that I'm not doing any of it on my own! Emmanuel -God with us- has truly been my life these past couple years, and it's been wonderful! Last summer, a girl I'd met only a couple months earlier commented that she could see how God truly adored me. Not that He doesn't adore everyone, but the richness of my relationship with Him was obvious to her.
So yeah, definitely the same struggles I had seven years ago, but I'm neither ignoring those struggles nor am I trying to go it alone. Looking back, the last seven years have actually gone very quickly! I've spent them in a growing relationship with the God of the universe and a rich community of believers. Another seven years from now will very likely (honestly, hopefully) hold massive life transitions. Most importantly though, I desire to have a growing and active relationship with God, making the most of every opportunity to enjoy His love for me and to share that love with others.
"11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13
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