Yep, that was me about an hour ago...and I'm still not ready for tomorrow...aka the first day of camp!
I get really overwhelmed the first day of anything (you should have seen me as a kid on my first day of school, that often happened three times every two years because of moving around a bunch. NOT a pretty picture!) Yeah, this job is definitely making me realize why God didn't lead me to be a teacher! Planning and preparing are definitely not my strengths...yet I tend to think my plans are still better than God's...interesting...
With all the paper I've used for copies, I'm sure I've destroyed a couple trees, and still have at least one more tree worth of copying to do. This week is gonna be really rough...tomorrow I have to make some more copies before work, work 9 hours, probably do more copying, and then I'm getting dinner with my sister before she leaves for Chicago on Tuesday. Tuesday, I'm working another 9 hours (our closer won't start til Wednesday). Wednesday it'll be 8 hours. Then Thursday another 8 hours...but we're going to the ZOO!! 4 staff, 35 kids are ours...50,000 kids at the zoo...I'm thinking about getting a rope long enough that they can all tie it around their wastes...and I'm not joking! Friday will be 8 hours, and I'm gonna be EXHAUSTED!!
On top of work overwhelming me, God is moving in my heart and I desire to be alert to what He's saying. Being alert is incredibly difficult when I'm overwhelmed and exhausted. Aw crap! I forgot my work shirt in the car...eh, I'll get it tomorrow and throw it over whatever I wear out to the car.
Oh...so much in my brain! Eventually it's all gonna just explode. This is definitely the time during the summer where the temptation to be hermit enters. Thank God I'm road tripping to Colorado in two weeks!! Until then, I can feel myself withdrawing. Questioning why I'm staying in Kent when I don't feel close to people right now. Seeing my socially awkwardness as obvious, even around good friends, has taken me by surprise a little bit. I see myself back-tracking to two summers ago when I would go entire weeks without seeing anyone I was close to. For the incredibly social person you probably know me to be, this is very dangerous ground for me to stand on.
Please be praying for me. I don't handle transitions well. I don't handle summers well. And my personality is such that I should never isolate myself! Definitely needing God to come through!
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