LOVE 103.3 at 9am!!! On Wednesday morning, I heard part 2 of this sermon! part 1 was about Jesus feeding the 5 thousand right after John the Baptist died, and part 2 was about Jesus walking on water. When Peter joined Him and started sinking, Jesus asked him "why did you doubt?" I mean, really? Peter suddenly realizes he is standing on water...he's not exactly a fisherman who doesn't know specific laws about nature. I'm sure he's fallen out of a boat often enough to know that humans sink in water. The speaker adjusted the translation a little bit to say "Why did you begin to doubt?" Peter stepped outta the boat with no reservations and started walking towards Jesus. It wasn't until he considered the natural impossibility of what he was doing that he began to sink. Peter's experiential knowledge of the world overcame his faith that Jesus had said come.
This story is in no way whatsoever foreign to me. With this story, God led me to "step out" and go on a church plant, trusting Him to not let me drown. One of the first times I heard this story, I remember my heart desiring to one day walk on water, finding myself in love with that level of faith. My freshman year in college, I found myself on a retreat walking on a frozen lake, aka water. (Not to be confused with skating. The whole concept of gliding in skates is too hard for me, but walking in skates, that I understand.) Even that long ago God has been avidly pursuing me with His irony.
Here I am, almost 10 years into my Christian faith, listening to that very story again with so much more speaking to my heart, but really the same concepts. My circumstances scare me. Let's be honest, the last time God told me to "step out" 51/2 years ago with the church plant, it wasn't exactly easy, and for a while it felt like I was treading water. Like Jesus hadn't even reached to pull me up and I was doing it all on my own. When I got too tired, finally gave up and said (in far more words) "Lord, save me!" He was faithful to do so, just as He had promised. Today, I heard Jesus say (in far fewer words), "Your circumstances need not dictate your faith. Your efforts are futile, yes, but with faith in My authority over your life, you can stand."
My reaction: couldn't I have learned all this some other way?? This storm is scary, so scary that when Jesus entered the scene, I doubted it was actually Him. When I sought affirmation that it was Him and as a result He said "Come," I stepped out. Now, I'm somewhere between standing on and treading the water. I'm very aware of the wind and how scary it is to be standing on water, but Jesus is still there with me, and He did say "Come." Maybe I'm treading water, still fighting on my own to believe what He'd said to be good and true. I am definitely getting tired, and thinking it might be time to ask Him to "save me" from drowning in my doubt.
Why did I start doubting in the first place?
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